Friday 13 July 2012

Diary of a Small Brown Dog

Thursday, June 28th
Cookie and I are once again incarcerated in the stinking bowels of the Ferryship.  What have we done to deserve this?  I can only assume that our humans are being detained in a similar manner.  And speaking of stinking bowels, didn't anyone discuss CONTROL with that bloodhound that was locked up in the cell beneath us.  ICK!

Friday, June 29th
We were released from prison - hooray!  A long drive ensued, but we've ended up in much nicer accommodation tonight - we have a whole room to share with our humans.  Dammit, why can't they understand that a large bed is essential for a small brown dog? 

Saturday, June 30th
After many long hours spent in the noisy, stinky, hot jeep, with occasional breaks to allow the humans fetch water for us, we arrived at our destination.  I knew at once where I was - this is where we spent the winter!  But our house is at the other end of the village - silly humans have brought us to the wrong house!  This one smells funny!  And there are no cats for Cookie to play with!

Sunday, July 1st
The house still smells funny, but the couch is nice and comfy to sleep on!  Nearly as good as a human bed!  It's getting nicely coated with brown and white hairs too - me and Cookie are doing our best to make it feel like home.  Speaking of home, this place (Céreste, the humans call it) has changed.  It's warmer but much much wetter.  It's pretty much just like our normal home where it rains all the time.

Monday, July 2nd
We were left behind!  Abandoned in a strange place! What could we do but bark and howl our despair out to the world?  Then the humans arrived back with "shopping" and all was well once again.  We even got them to take us for a walk later on - that's me, right at the bottom of the photo :
The rain here has stopped and it's warm.  Much warmer than I'm used to.  It's a bit tiring.

Tuesday, July 3rd
What a great start to the day!  We got out with the humans early and ran a perimeter patrol to the north of Céreste.  Well, I ran.  The humans and Cookie walked.  I had to stop and catch my breath sometimes, though.
And then... we were abandoned!  Again!  This is terrible.  What do they think they are doing?  
They came back.  Eventually.  I am a very unimpressed small brown dog.  

Wednesday, July 4th
BEST. DAY. EVER.  
We stuck with them for the whole day!  First of all we all went for a really great walk.  We ended up by a river, and I was going in for my usual paddle, when one of the humans spotted a ball.     
I like balls.  I like to rip off their green fur, although I have not yet managed to disembowel one - but I digress.
The human cleverly retrieved the ball, and then promptly threw it back into the water. Silly human!  What could I do?  I tried to paddle out to it but it was too deep and I found myself swimming.  Swimming is weird and a bit scarey - it's like you're walking but there's no ground underneath you.  Thoroughly un-natural.  I quickly looped back to the shore and assessed the situation.
I really wanted to retrieve that ball (even though I am not a retriever per se) so I tried from another angle...
 I ended up swimming...
but I was so close to the ball that I managed to grab it and swim back to shore with it!
Yes!  In my mouth!  I have never in all my life done that before!  I was so proud of myself and so happy to have rescued the ball!
The rest of the day was mostly spent in the noisy, stinky and rather hot jeep.  We did have one nice break though, we went to a Café where we are well known and were recognised immediately.  I spent most of lunchtime working on my hypnosis skills. 

I AM HYPNODOG....
YOU WILL OBEY ME....
DROP FOOD....

I AM HYPNODOG....
YOU WILL OBEY ME....
DROP FOOD....

It's not working.  I must be doing something wrong.

Thursday, July 5th
Another truly brilliant day! Yes, we spent a lot of time in the hot, stinky jeep, but we got a great walk in as well!
We ended up by a lake.
The water was so cool!
I got to practise swimming again.
I'm really starting to like it.
I even retrieved a stick.
It was great!
Cookie doesn't like it so much, though.  Ha! I am so much cooler than she is!

Friday, July 6th
Another great walk today!  This time it was a perimeter patrol to the East of Céreste.  The humans stopped for a food break along the way, and I tried hypnosis again.

I AM HYPNODOG....
YOU WILL OBEY ME....
DROP FOOD....

It's starting to work!  They gave us both some nuts!  They were yummy!

The walk was pretty hot and there was no swimming today, so Cookie and I settled down to snooze the afternoon away in the cool house.  We didn't mind so much when the humans went out and left us.  Who wants to spend hours in a hot stinky jeep?  And anyway, this place is starting to smell pretty good now.  There's lots and lots of nice brown and white hairs all over the place now.


"A small brown dog is an essential piece of kit for giving perspective in photographs."  What can she possibly mean by that?
I spent the afternoon mulling this over in between naps. 
I still don't understand.



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